Voice Mail;

[thebritishgovt]

You have reached the personal voice mail box of Mycroft Holmes. Please provide your name and contact information at the tone. If you haven't left your name and number, your caller ID should offer the sufficient information for me to return your call.

Your call may be scanned, monitored, and screened in only the most severe of circumstances.

[BEEP!]

Comments

text;

[sirboastsalot]

Go away.
SH

text;

[thebritishgovt]

A pleasant morning to you too, baby brother.
M

text; 1/2

[sirboastsalot]

Go.
SH

text; 2/2

[sirboastsalot]

Away.
SH

voice;

[thebritishgovt]

[Okay, enough of this texting thing, his thumbs are getting tired. Mycroft's very familiar, very calm, and very cold voice drops a prim little message in Sherlock's doubtlessly empty voicemail box.]

For God's sake, it's not as if I am inviting you to high tea and scones. You coped well enough when we lived in the same city. I trust you'll find a way to manage it again.

text;

[sirboastsalot]

[NOPE NOT PICKING UP THE PHONE. He lets it go to voicemail before texting back.]

Of course you wouldn't. That would require you to share food.
SH

voice;

[thebritishgovt]

Charming as ever. My diet is progressing splendidly, in fact. Thank you for your overwhelming concern.

voice; 2/2

[thebritishgovt]

... It is good to see you healthful enough to text. Do your best to keep it that way, will you?

text;

[sirboastsalot]

[Oh yet another person after his 'death'. He doesn't think for one second that Mycroft truly believes he died.]

I haven't done anything to the contrary. I don't think I'll change that while I'm here.
SH

[Phones can be hacked, having your big brother run the government means that he's well aware of the sort of espionage that can go on behind the scenes. With Jim Moriarty here he has to be doubly careful on how he intends to pass information to Mycroft over channels such as this.]

voice;

[thebritishgovt]

No, I find that very doubtful.

[An excellent deduction, Sherlock. Mycroft would have been much more surprised to hear from you if he truly believed in your death.]

By the way, dear brother, while I've managed to engage your begrudging attentions, I do have something I'm curious about. Have you misplaced your mobile, perchance?

[Of course, Mycroft asks knowing full well that Sherlock would never lose what is practically attached to his thumbs. But a certain ... conclusion could be drawn from his asking about it at all, couldn't it? Like, say, for example, the fact that Mycroft has definitely noticed that the phone he is using is not his own. And that just another worry to add to his mounting pile, indeed.]

text;

[sirboastsalot]

Hard to get reception for something from another world.
SH

[When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.]

voice;

[thebritishgovt]

Yet the new models come fully equipped with our personal information.

[Curious conclusion, Sherlock. Curious conclusion, indeed. It is a good thing his brother is around to do all of that investigative legwork; Mycroft will only do so much snooping on his own before he finds it easier to sit back and order others to do it for him.]

If that is the case, you are more stuck with me on this desert rock than you feared. And estimating by the current length of this conversation, I will assume my time has run out and you will whittle away the afternoon sulking in your bed.

Give Dr. Watson my regards. Or, well--I'm sure we'll be in touch sooner or later.

text;

[sirboastsalot]

[Sherlock wants the last word.]

I'm not sulking.
SH

[thebritishgovt]

[Mycroft will just be making THIS FACE at that text. Yeah, right. Mycroft knows you better than that.]

text; private

[crimogen]

[If he was a nicer guy Lestrade would just use voice because he knows how much you prefer to speak, but now he feels inclined to be a dick to you because guess who just figured out that Sherlock didn't kill himself.]

You knew it from the start, didn't you?
G.Lestrade